Tuesday, March 26, 2024

DWTD☸: Seeing dhamma (phenomena) instead of seeing ☸Dhamma as it truly is every moment leads to joyless boredom

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Exhibit A from this yogi living in a monastery




Satipaṭṭhāna Meditation Report by Kidet0 » Fri Mar 22, 2024 5:12 pm
A meditator reported the following. 
What could they be going through or what could be the explanation for it?


After about 2 months of practicing both walking and sitting meditation (insight meditation of the observation of arising and vanishing of phenomena), 
it seems that I have entered a mental state where there is just sheer boredom.
 In the first few weeks, there were periods of joy and rapture at the noticing of phenomena arising and vanishing.
 The mere seeing of the impermanent nature of phenomena caused deep contentment and tranquility to arise in the mind.
 I was enthusiastic about being delivered from defilements and I thought that this newfound power of observation will continue on until all defilements have been destroyed.


Now, however, I just sit like a vegetable for long periods of time and watch the same spectacle unfolding without caring much about it.
 It's no longer interesting to investigate the arising and vanishing.
 The mind has become dull, the body doesn't want to eat and there's aversion towards food, and interacting with fellow yogis at the monastery is bothersome to me.
 While other people seem to be happily living out each day, I'm almost never concerned about anything.
 I avoid conversation and will only speak the bare minimum enough to function properly 
 since I live in a community with group activities like pindapāta, communal work, chantings, and Dhamma discussions.
 Other than that, I prefer to keep to myself.


Small things that disrupt my mental calmness tend to cause me annoyance 
e.g. people coughing or farting during group meditation, 
someone starting to sweep 5 minutes before it's officially duty time, someone saying good morning to me... simple things of that nature.
 Initially, these weren't things I'd get flustered about.
 They were objects of meditation but now they seem like they disrupt my inner quietude.


The boredom that the seemingly uninteresting meditation has brought about is causing people to inquire whether I'm doing okay because I always look sad and dejected.
 The people who "check on me" are only a few who I consider to be nosy anyways because they don't understand that they shouldn't be concerned with the meditation progress of other yogis unless they are the meditation teacher.


I'm neither experiencing joy nor sorrow.
 There's neither happiness nor sadness.
 No motivation at all.
 During meditation, there's no desire to cultivate concentration.
 But even when a little bit of it comes about, the mind somehow automatically starts noticing the arising and vanishing of phenomena again.
 Hearing - abandoning the sound;
 thinking - abandoning the thought;
 hearing again - abandoning the sound again;
 knowing again - abandoning again.
 When the mind lets go of a sense object, it just reverts to that bare awareness that is plain boring with nothing happening.
 Will I be seeing this rising and vanishing forever?
 When does it end?


My days are spent creeping around like a zombie and doing things ultra slowly which I imagine puts people off.
 I try to maintain the awareness of bodily movements in the present but it becomes distasteful quickly as, 
 yet again, there appears to be nothing but the arising and vanishing of mental and physical phenomena without rhyme or reason.
 Gazing downwards without interest in my surroundings is far more desirable than looking about here and there saying hello to people.
 I'm afraid I'm coming across as snobbish.
 The problem is I can't describe my current situation to other yogis because they wouldn't understand.
 I wouldn't even know where to begin.
 They like to walk in groups with friendly chit-chat, giggling, and socializing so I'd rather not strike up a conversation with them.


Solution to above problem 

Don't wag the Dhamma.  DWTD☸
There was joy in the practice (of watching phenomena rise and pass) because you thought that would be the answer to eradicating all suffering.
The boredom, sadness, and joylessness that followed was due to watching dhamma without a firm (conventional intellectual) understanding of dhamma's subservience to Dhamma.
You're letting the dhamma wag the Dhamma.

With a firm understanding of core Dharma principles, 
you would watch for how delight, dissatisfaction arise through the six sense doors, and are wholly dependent on a sense of identity and ownership you falsely attribute to objects in the world and imaginary ideas in your minds.

But if you don't develop jhānic quality of lucidity, you won't have the clarity of vision, the reflexes and ability to react, see, and understand the process of how suffering happens in real time.

Without jhānic quality of lucidity, you can only reflect back on large units of time, for example hours, days, weeks, 
and with intellectual analysis discern a general pattern of how ignorance and craving caused much of the suffering in your life, 
but seemingly without the tools and weapons to actually fight back and catch your defilements in real time to destroy, maim, or injure them so your actual day to day dukkha is materially diminished.
Jhāna is the sword of samādhi, the weapon of Dhamma lethal enough to inflict mortal wounds on the defilements.

Sati ("mindfulness") is not "bare awareness". 
The fact you were taught that way, is why you, in your own words, walk around like a zombie sometimes. 

More on choiceless awareness zombies here:

DO YOU WANT A JUDGMENTAL GATEKEEPER FOR SATI


Image result for judge dredd


Or a sati that is a present moment choiceless awareness zombie?

Image result for zombie
You think he's going to do a good job of keeping the defilements from waltzing through the gate?













elephant and bodhi tree SN 47.2 defines 'sati' (mindfulness ) as doing this all the time (24/7 samādhi ):
kāye kāyā-(a)nu-passī viharati
He lives continuously seeing the body as a body [as it truly is].
vedanāsu vedanā-(a)nu-passī viharati
He lives continuously seeing sensations as sensations [as it truly is].
citte cittā-(a)nu-passī viharati
He lives continuously seeing a mind as a mind [as it truly is].
dhammesu dhammā-(a)nu-passī viharati
He lives continuously seeing ☸Dharma as ☸Dharma [as it truly is].
(… elided refrain from each way…)
[in each of the 4 ways of remembering]:
ātāpī sampajāno satimā,
he is ardent 🏹, he has lucid discerning 👁, he remembers 🐘 [to apply relevant ☸Dharma].
vineyya loke abhijjhā-do-manassaṃ;
he should remove greed and distress regarding the world.




Again, same as satipatthana formula, just in terms of dukkha instead of "body, sensations,..." which is also part of 5uk aggregates.









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