What metta and friendship means in the EBT: mitta suttas: discourses with 'friend' (mitta) in the title

Metta is closely related to the word 'mitta', so a careful study of these suttas on mitta should give you a better idea of what the qualities of 'metta' encompass. Hint: Metta is not 'love', which is too broad of a concept that includes some of 'metta's core qualities, but also includes many defiled baggages (romantic love, clingly attached love of relatives, children) that aren't part of metta.

AN 1.71 Kalyāṇamitta - AN 1.81:

“Nāhaṃ, bhikkhave, aññaṃ Eka-dhammampi samanupassāmi yena anuppannā vā kusalā dhammā uppajjanti uppannā vā akusalā dhammā parihāyanti yathayidaṃ, bhikkhave, kalyāṇamittatā.	“monks, I do not see a single Dharma that gives rise to skillful Dharmas, or makes unskillful Dharmas decline like good friends.
Kalyāṇamittassa, bhikkhave, anuppannā ceva kusalā dhammā uppajjanti uppannā ca akusalā dhammā parihāyantī”ti.	When you have good friends, skillful Dharmas arise and unskillful Dharmas decline.”

AN 3.135 AN 3.133 Mitta:

They give what is hard to give, they do what is hard to do, and they bear what is hard to bear.
imehi kho, bhikkhave, tīhi aṅgehi samannāgato mitto sevitabbo”ti.	You should associate with a friend who has these three factors.”

AN 5.146 Bhikkhumitta [Mitta] :

Kammantaṃ kāreti, adhikaraṇaṃ ādiyati, pāmokkhesu bhikkhūsu paṭiviruddho hoti, dīghacārikaṃ anavatthacārikaṃ anuyutto viharati, nappaṭibalo hoti kālena kālaṃ dhammiyā kathāya sandassetuṃ samādapetuṃ samuttejetuṃ sampahaṃsetuṃ.	They start up work projects. They take up disciplinary issues. They conflict with leading monks. They like long and aimless wandering. They’re unable to educate, encourage, fire up, and inspire you from time to time with a Dhamma talk.
Imehi kho, bhikkhave, pañcahi dhammehi samannāgato bhikkhu mitto na sevitabbo.	monks, you shouldn’t associate with a monk friend who has these five qualities.

AN 6.67 Mitta : monks, it’s totally impossible that a monk with bad friends, companions, and associates, while frequenting, accompanying, and attending, and following their example, will fulfill the practice dealing with the supplementary regulations.

AN 7.36 AN 7.35 Mitta:

“Sattahi, bhikkhave, aṅgehi samannāgato mitto sevitabbo.	“monks, you should associate with a friend who has seven factors.
Katamehi sattahi?	What seven?
Duddadaṃ dadāti, dukkaraṃ karoti, dukkhamaṃ khamati, guyhamassa āvi karoti, guyhamassa pariguhati, āpadāsu na jahati, khīṇena nātimaññati.	They give what is hard to give. They do what is hard to do. They endure what is hard to endure. They reveal their secrets to you. They keep your secrets. They don’t abandon you in times of trouble. They don’t look down on you in times of loss.

AN 7.37 AN 7.36 Bhikkhu-mitta [Mitta 2]

Piyo ca hoti manāpo ca garu ca bhāvanīyo ca vattā ca vacanakkhamo ca gambhīrañca kathaṃ kattā hoti, no ca aṭṭhāne niyojeti.	They’re likable, agreeable, respected, and admired. They admonish you and they accept admonishment. They speak on deep matters. And they don’t urge you to do bad things.
Imehi kho, bhikkhave, sattahi dhammehi samannāgato bhikkhu mitto sevitabbo bhajitabbo payirupāsitabbo api panujjamānenapīti.	When a friend has these seven qualities you should associate with, accompany, and attend with them, even if they send you away.”

SN 1.53 SN 53 Mitta : good merits you've done (puññā) are your friend that follows you to next life

SN 3.18 SN 129 Kalyāṇamitta :

Atha kho, mahārāja, ānando bhikkhu yenāhaṃ tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā maṃ abhivādetvā ekamantaṃ nisīdi. Ekamantaṃ nisinno kho, mahārāja, ānando bhikkhu maṃ etadavoca:	Then the monk Ānanda came to me, bowed, sat down to one side, and said:
‘upaḍḍhamidaṃ, bhante, brahmacariyassa—yadidaṃ kalyāṇamittatā kalyāṇasahāyatā kalyāṇasampavaṅkatā’ti.	‘Sir, good friends, companions, and associates are half the spiritual life.’


Evaṃ vuttāhaṃ, mahārāja, ānandaṃ bhikkhuṃ etadavocaṃ:	When he had spoken, I said to him:
‘mā hevaṃ, ānanda, mā hevaṃ, ānanda.	‘Not so, Ānanda! Not so, Ānanda!
Sakalameva hidaṃ, ānanda, brahmacariyaṃ—yadidaṃ kalyāṇamittatā kalyāṇasahāyatā kalyāṇasampavaṅkatā.	Good friends, companions, and associates are the whole of the spiritual life.
Kalyāṇamittassetaṃ, ānanda, bhikkhuno pāṭikaṅkhaṃ kalyāṇasahāyassa kalyāṇasampavaṅkassa ariyaṃ aṭṭhaṅgikaṃ maggaṃ bhāvessati ariyaṃ aṭṭhaṅgikaṃ maggaṃ bahulīkarissati.	A monk with good friends, companions, and associates can expect to develop and cultivate the noble eightfold path.

SN 45.49 Kalyāṇamitta

“Sūriyassa, bhikkhave, udayato etaṃ pubbaṅgamaṃ etaṃ pubbanimittaṃ, yadidaṃ—aruṇuggaṃ;	“monks, the dawn is the forerunner and precursor of the sunrise.
evameva kho, bhikkhave, bhikkhuno ariyassa aṭṭhaṅgikassa maggassa uppādāya etaṃ pubbaṅgamaṃ etaṃ pubbanimittaṃ, yadidaṃ—kalyāṇamittatā.	In the same way good friendship is the forerunner and precursor of the noble eightfold path for a monk.
Kalyāṇamittassetaṃ, bhikkhave, bhikkhuno pāṭikaṅkhaṃ—ariyaṃ aṭṭhaṅgikaṃ maggaṃ bhāvessati, ariyaṃ aṭṭhaṅgikaṃ maggaṃ bahulīkarissati.	A monk with good friends can expect to develop and cultivate the noble eightfold path.

SN 45.56 Kalyāṇamitta 2: similar to SN 45.49

SN 45.63 Kalyāṇamitta 1

“Ekadhammo, bhikkhave, bahūpakāro ariyassa aṭṭhaṅgikassa maggassa uppādāya.	“monks, one thing helps give rise to the noble eightfold path.
Katamo ekadhammo?	What one thing?
Yadidaṃ—kalyāṇamittatā.	It’s good friendship.
Kalyāṇamittassetaṃ, bhikkhave, bhikkhuno pāṭikaṅkhaṃ—ariyaṃ aṭṭhaṅgikaṃ maggaṃ bhāvessati, ariyaṃ aṭṭhaṅgikaṃ maggaṃ bahulīkarissati.	A monk with good friends can expect to develop and cultivate the noble eightfold path.

SN 45.70 Kalyāṇamitta 2 similar to SN 45.63

SN 45.77 Kalyāṇamitta 1 similar to SN 45.63

SN 45.84 Kalyāṇamitta 2 similar to SN 45.63

SN 47.48 Mitta: “monks, those for whom you have sympathy, and those worth listening to—friends and colleagues, relatives and family—should be encouraged, supported, and established in the development of the four kinds of rememberfulness meditation.

SN 55.16 Mittā-macca: “monks, those who you have sympathy for, and those worth listening to—friends and colleagues, relatives and family—should be encouraged, supported, and established in the four factors of stream-entry.

SN 55.17 Mittāmacca 2: similar to SN 55.16 but mentions no bad rebirth for stream enterer

SN 56.26 Mitta:

“monks, those who you have sympathy for, and those worth listening to—friends and colleagues, relatives and family—should be encouraged, supported, and established in the true comprehension of the four noble truths.

How parittas (protective safeguard recitation) work with metta (friendly kindness), and mitta (friends)

SN 48.40 Ven. Thanissaro comments on Ven. Sunyo's analysis

This was Ven. Sunyo's analysis of SN 48.40: https://notesonthedhamma.blogspot.com/2024/05/exciting-news-honest-ebt-scholars-like.html And here is Ven. Thanissaro's response to that analysis: I think there’s a better way to tackle the issue of SN 48:40 than by appealing to the oldest layers of commentarial literature. That way is to point out that SN 48:40, as we have it, doesn’t pass the test in DN 16 for determining what’s genuine Dhamma and what’s not. There the standard is, not the authority of the person who’s claiming to report the Buddha’s teachings, but whether the teachings he’s reporting are actually in accordance with the principles of the Dhamma that you know. So the simple fact that those who have passed the Buddha’s teachings down to us say that a particular passage is what the Buddha actually taught is not sufficient grounds for accepting it. In the case of the jhānas—the point at issue here— we have to take as our guide the standard formula for the jhānas, a...

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