MN 21 what are thoughts of household life referring to?

 

questions about MN 21.

1.  what are thoughts of household life referring to?

In SN 54.8, it's clear household thoughts would be monks desiring some household pleasures, perhaps even tempting enough to disrobe. But in MN 21, I can't imagine what it means.

Don't monks and nuns also have thoughts and desire to protect people being attacked?

I could see if the suttas said it was a lay person's "speech", and not a monk's 'speech' to react with displeasure.

2. what is the simile of the catskin bag mean? 

the previous similes with earth, space, obviously make the connection with 'appamana' being unlimited in metta and ability to withstand criticism. But I can't see what the catskin bag is alluding to.

3. Why is it in the case with the nuns and monk mixing, the Buddha's instructions don't include sending metta to the attacker, and then using the attacker as a basis to send metta to the entire world, as it does in the other examples in the rest of the sutta?

And if it did include the metta to the attacker, the sutta would be hard to put into practice.

I find it hard in reality, if nuns were physically assaulted, that one could stand by idly and be sending metta to the attacker instead of trying to protect the nuns from physical harm.

Certainly for verbal assault, I can see one standing idly whether verbal criticism is valid or not.

The big question though, is really how should the simile of the saw (sending metta to attacker while being maimed) be put into practice? Is it just kind of a theoretical  ideal to strive for, or the literal words we should follow to the extreme?

There were lamas in Tibet under imprisonment and torture who carried out these instructions literally, sending metta to their Chinese communist torturers.

But then there are sutta passages like, "willingly let only my skin and bones remain, let me flesh dry up, I will not get up from this seated posture until I've become an arahant", that would be disastrous to put into practice if we took it literally rather than a theoretical ideal to strive for.

I highlight the sutta links that jump directly to relevant passages in MN 21.

MN 21¹ (monk Phagguna mixing with nuns too often)     MN 21^1.5 (if nuns criticized → give up desire and thoughts of lay life)     MN 21^1.6 (if nuns criticized → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)     MN 21^1.7 (if nuns assaulted → give up desire and thoughts of lay life)     MN 21^1.8 (if nuns assaulted → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)     MN 21^1.9 (if you are criticized → give up desire and thoughts of lay life)     MN 21^1.10 (if you are criticized → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)     MN 21^1.11 (if you are assaulted → give up desire and thoughts of lay life)     MN 21^1.12 (if you are assaulted → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate) MN 21² (Buddha used to be satisfied with monks)     MN 21^2.1 (eat in one session per day for good health)     MN 21^2.2 (Buddha just prompted their rememberfulness, didn’t need to keep reminding them)         MN 21^2.2.1 (rememberfulness ↔ simile of expert chariot driver)     MN 21^2.3 (do right effort, give up unskillful and develop skillful)         MN 21^2.3.1 (right effort ↔ simile of removing weeds to nurture sal grove) MN 21³ (story of maid testing housewife with reputation of sweet temper)     MN 21^3.2 (test 1: maid gets up later than normal → housewife has angry words)     MN 21^3.3 (test 2: maid gets up even later → housewife assaults maid)     MN 21^3.4 (housewife getṣ new reputation of being fierce and foul tempered) MN 21⁴ (sweet tempered monk ↔ fierce angry housewife)     MN 21^4.1 (monk not considered easy to admonish if they have ulterior motive for food, requisites)     MN 21^4.2 (monk considered easy to admonish if their motive is respect for The Dharma)     MN 21^4.5 (5 types of critical speech: timely, true, gentle, beneficial, metta – or 5 opposites)         MN 21^4.5.7 (if monk is criticized → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)         MN 21^4.5.8 (then pervade critic with mind of metta)         MN 21^4.5.9 (using that critic as basis, pervade entire world with metta via STED 4bv formula) MN 21⁵ (simile of bucket collecting all of earth)     MN 21^5.5 (5 types of critical speech: timely, true, gentle, beneficial, metta – or 5 opposites)         MN 21^5.5.7 (if monk is criticized → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)         MN 21^5.5.8 (then pervade critic with mind of metta)         MN 21^5.5.9 (using that critic as basis, pervade entire world with metta via STED 4bv formula) MN 21⁶ (simile of painting the sky)     MN 21^6.5 (5 types of critical speech: timely, true, gentle, beneficial, metta – or 5 opposites)         MN 21^6.5.7 (if monk is criticized → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)         MN 21^6.5.8 (then pervade critic with mind of metta)         MN 21^6.5.9 (using that critic as basis, pervade entire world with metta via STED 4bv formula) MN 21⁷ (simile of torching ganges river)     MN 21^7.5 (5 types of critical speech: timely, true, gentle, beneficial, metta – or 5 opposites)         MN 21^7.5.7 (if monk is criticized → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)         MN 21^7.5.8 (then pervade critic with mind of metta)         MN 21^7.5.9 (using that critic as basis, pervade entire world with metta via STED 4bv formula) MN 21⁸ (simile of catskin bag)     MN 21^8.5 (5 types of critical speech: timely, true, gentle, beneficial, metta – or 5 opposites)         MN 21^8.5.7 (if monk is criticized → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)         MN 21^8.5.8 (then pervade critic with mind of metta)         MN 21^8.5.9 (using that critic as basis, pervade entire world with metta via STED 4bv formula) MN 21⁹ (simile of saw – even if killer bandits saw off your limbs)     MN 21^9.5 (even having a malevolent thought in reaction is not following Buddha’s teaching)         MN 21^9.5.7 (if monk is assaulted or maimed → unaffected, no bad speech, karuṇa + metta, no secret hate)         MN 21^9.5.8 (then pervade killer with mind of metta)         MN 21^9.5.9 (using that killer as basis, pervade entire world with metta via STED 4bv formula) MN 21¹⁰ (conclusion: you should frequently reflect on simile of saw)