Re: i have a craving for a woman at the gym

Post by frank k » Fri Sep 09, 2022 3:10 pm

bpallister wrote: ↑Tue Sep 06, 2022 3:19 pmwhat should i do, friends?

It's not clear what your ultimate goal is here, but if it is to move towards pure brahmacariya and celibacy,
1. quit your gym membership, whatever exercises you want to do, you can do cheaply and on your own. For example, gymnastic rings cost 50$ for a decent pair, a jump rope is light and portable, between doing squats, lunges, one leg squats, all kinds of great stuff on the gym rings, you'll be way better off in the long run. Bike, jog, etc.

The reason for that, is it's not just visual, audio, stimulation. You're exposed to powerful hormones and pheromones, you're setting yourself up for failure if you frequent a gym. Even you don't look at or listen to the opposite sex while you're at the gym, even if you wear blindfolds and ear plugs when you go to the gym, those pheromones are powerful stuff. It's the biological imperative. Think about how a house full of women, all their periods sync up. Think about cats and dogs in heat. Humans are in heat all the time too, the only difference is the dogs are honest and transparent about their desires. Men in prison start raping men even though they're hetero. The sex drive is powerful. If it were not, species would quickly become extinct.

2. exercise alone. One of the suttas talks about another major cause of lust people don't think about, is when you're trying to develop masculine traits like a strong body with big muscles, that kind of narcissism is not just vain, but it feeds your lust for the opposite sex. When you exercise with other guys (after you quit your gym membership), their obsession with physical beauty is likely to influence you.

3. The real key to defeating lust is understanding the subha nimitta. The sex act, devoid of the subha nimitta, is really not that great or exciting, compared to more refined pleasures like jhāna, brahma vihāras, which are stable and long lasting.
Big collection of sutta passages on asubha and subha, and how to deal with lust here:
https://lucid24.org/sted/8aam/2sankappo/kama/index.html

Forum discussion

Re: i have a craving for a woman at the gym

Post by form » Tue Sep 06, 2022 5:00 pm

SDC wrote: ↑Tue Sep 06, 2022 3:43 pmAre you celibate? If yes, ignore her.

If not, talk to her, but not while she’s working out. Most women don’t appreciate that.

No. I have done that before, but I talked to her when she was on the elliptical machine. This way she will stay there when you talked to her.