metta and the 4bv brahma viharas are much easier than you think, lots of wrong ideas out there, such as vism.

(work in progress - sharing prematurely because friend asked a question about it)

Nobody ever taught dogs how to do metta

(from a post in 2017-mar.)

For many years I had the same questions [on how do you actually practice metta?]

Then one day, I figured it out. Look at the prototypical dog in a developed western country. No one ever taught them what suttas they should read or study, or how to first visualize dogs in their family, then ones they feel neutral towards, and then cats which they might feel animosity towards, and then one quarter of the universe, then the other… No complicated stuff.

But they do a pretty convincing job of spreading good will don’t they? Their body language seems to say, “hey! how you doing? good to see you! have a good day! Want to be friends?”

Or you see a stranger on the street with a beaming smile, may not even be directed towards you, but its contagious right?

So it simply boils down to be happy and energetically spread that feeling out. Treat all living beings the way you wish to be treated, reduce the flavor to its essence and it can take you into jhana. Or you can get into jhana first and then spread out that feeling energetically. You don’t really need to be taught how to do metta. The hard part may be to be genuinely happy. If you can do it, just don’t block it and let it spread out. I found that if I wasn’t able to be happy, I could at least partake in happiness of others and vicariously do metta that way.

With asubha practices, if you practice it enough you become desensitized like a coroner who cuts up dead bodies every day. Just like you take a shit and eat 5 minutes later and it doesn’t shake you up right? But always remember Vesali sutta SN 54.9, where scores of monks committed suicde from doing asubha. If you think you might be one of them, don’t do asubha yet.

Karuna (compassion)

This is actually my preferred brahma vihara to start out with, because it's always ready and instantaneous. Whereas with metta, I'm a hermit who prefers solitude and noble silence, and I've found that emanating metta tends to be attractive, it draws people and beings toward you and they often want to talk to you. With karuna, it's a basic instinct to want to be free from pain and suffering. So you hold on to that feeling in regard to yourself, wishing yourself to be free of suffering, and you extend your energy bubble outwards to encompass others. When you see bugs  or animals in trouble, and it takes little effort to give them a hand and save their life, don't you do it? It's that simple. Just recall your mind state from the last time that happened, how instantaneously that karuna can spring to mind. Bring that feeling to mind, and spread it in various directions.  

 Some wrong ideas and misunderstandings about brahma viharas

* you have to be able to do this or that jhana or formless samadhi before you can properly attempt to do metta or brahma vihara

* mudita (virtuous mirth/rejoicing) doesn't mean non jealousy at others' good fortune.