Thursday, March 31, 2022

Overcoming sexual desire in the hypersexualized modern culture


Re: Overcoming sexual desire in the hypersexualized modern culture

Post by frank k » 

If you can find a monastic community you like, live there keeping 8 precepts for an extended period of time, that gives you confidence you can do it, the longer the better, and the more you have an ingrained habit of voluntarily living a physically and mentally secluded lifestyle from the hindrances.

If you have to work, you don't have to live like a worldling outside of work.
I recommended to people to get slow internet access, too slow to enjoy viewing rich media, also give yourself long windows of internet and communication blackout with the outside world.

memorize important sutta passage, recite them frequently (and reflect on meaning as you recite).
Especially ones like
AN 4.14,
SN 46.2

For sensuality, this part of SN 46.2 is especially sobering and clear and reminding you what to do:
(I recommend chanting just this part over and over again, it can put out fires)
(1. 💑 Kāma-c-chanda ← subha-nimittaṃ)
Ko ca, bhikkhave,
“{And} what, monks, [is the]
āhāro an-uppannassa vā
nutriment (for) un-arisen
kāma-c-chandassa uppādāya,
sensual-desire's arising,
uppannassa vā kāma-c-chandassa
(and) arisen sensual-desire's
bhiyyo-bhāvāya vepullāya?
growth,-development (and) abundance?
Atthi, bhikkhave,
There-is, monks,
(the) beautful-sign.
Tattha a-yoniso-manasi-kāra-bahulī-kāro—
(To) that-there, un-wise-mental-production-frequently-done,
ayam-āhāro an-uppannassa vā
is-the-nutriment (for) un-arisen
kāma-c-chandassa uppādāya,
sensual-desire's arising,
uppannassa vā kāma-c-chandassa
(and) arisen sensual-desire's
bhiyyo-bhāvāya vepullāya.
growth,-development (and) abundance.

Another concrete example using the above passage:

I was a hardcore meat eater when I was young. I enjoyed the taste of meat as much as anyone.
I became vegetarian when I was around 18, and it was easy because I focused my attention to this subha and asubha nimitta:
Whenever I saw food, saw meat, I didn't pay attention to the subha nimtta of "yum, delicious smell of meat, taste of meat, texture of meat".
Instead, I focused on the asubha nimitta of, "this was once a living being, that wanted to live, not to die. That wanted to be happy, not suffer the trauma of being murdered."
I was never tempted again in my life to eat meat due to its subha nimattas, and becoming vegetarian was really easy and no challenge at all. This was from staying focused on the asubha nimittas.
(I didn't know those sutta passages back then, was a novice meditator, just reflecting back now seeing that's how I overcame meat eating so easily, was due to the efficacy and principles of that sutta).

Cause_and_Effect wrote: Sun Mar 27, 2022 9:44 amIt seems there is the difficulty in overcoming this desire.
Then there is the difficulty in even wanting to overcome it which comes first since the defiled mind wants to indulge.

Society is hypersexualized now, everywhere you go you seem women (and men) in various degrees of nakedness. This is even in the workplace. Then there is advertising, ready access of high resolution pornography at the touch of a button and social conditioning and approval towards increasing sexual desire.

What methods have people actually used to achieve success in reducing or overcoming sensual lust? I'm not talking about theory or just Pali suttas on the subject but the experiences of people in actually using these sources to overcome it and further to motivate oneself to do so and persist in it for extended periods of time.

I believe meditative progress particularly towards the jhanas is significantly impaired through difficulty in reducing this pervasive hindrance.

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