Skip to main content

Overcoming sexual desire in the hypersexualized modern culture

 

Re: Overcoming sexual desire in the hypersexualized modern culture

Post by frank k » 

If you can find a monastic community you like, live there keeping 8 precepts for an extended period of time, that gives you confidence you can do it, the longer the better, and the more you have an ingrained habit of voluntarily living a physically and mentally secluded lifestyle from the hindrances.

If you have to work, you don't have to live like a worldling outside of work.
I recommended to people to get slow internet access, too slow to enjoy viewing rich media, also give yourself long windows of internet and communication blackout with the outside world.

memorize important sutta passage, recite them frequently (and reflect on meaning as you recite).
Especially ones like
https://lucid24.org/misc/raft/index.html
AN 4.14,
SN 46.2

For sensuality, this part of SN 46.2 is especially sobering and clear and reminding you what to do:
(I recommend chanting just this part over and over again, it can put out fires)
(1. 💑 Kāma-c-chanda ← subha-nimittaṃ)
Ko ca, bhikkhave,
“{And} what, monks, [is the]
āhāro an-uppannassa vā
nutriment (for) un-arisen
kāma-c-chandassa uppādāya,
sensual-desire's arising,
uppannassa vā kāma-c-chandassa
(and) arisen sensual-desire's
bhiyyo-bhāvāya vepullāya?
growth,-development (and) abundance?
Atthi, bhikkhave,
There-is, monks,
subha-nimittaṃ.
(the) beautful-sign.
Tattha a-yoniso-manasi-kāra-bahulī-kāro—
(To) that-there, un-wise-mental-production-frequently-done,
ayam-āhāro an-uppannassa vā
is-the-nutriment (for) un-arisen
kāma-c-chandassa uppādāya,
sensual-desire's arising,
uppannassa vā kāma-c-chandassa
(and) arisen sensual-desire's
bhiyyo-bhāvāya vepullāya.
growth,-development (and) abundance.


Another concrete example using the above passage:

I was a hardcore meat eater when I was young. I enjoyed the taste of meat as much as anyone.
I became vegetarian when I was around 18, and it was easy because I focused my attention to this subha and asubha nimitta:
Whenever I saw food, saw meat, I didn't pay attention to the subha nimtta of "yum, delicious smell of meat, taste of meat, texture of meat".
Instead, I focused on the asubha nimitta of, "this was once a living being, that wanted to live, not to die. That wanted to be happy, not suffer the trauma of being murdered."
I was never tempted again in my life to eat meat due to its subha nimattas, and becoming vegetarian was really easy and no challenge at all. This was from staying focused on the asubha nimittas.
(I didn't know those sutta passages back then, was a novice meditator, just reflecting back now seeing that's how I overcame meat eating so easily, was due to the efficacy and principles of that sutta).



Cause_and_Effect wrote: Sun Mar 27, 2022 9:44 amIt seems there is the difficulty in overcoming this desire.
Then there is the difficulty in even wanting to overcome it which comes first since the defiled mind wants to indulge.

Society is hypersexualized now, everywhere you go you seem women (and men) in various degrees of nakedness. This is even in the workplace. Then there is advertising, ready access of high resolution pornography at the touch of a button and social conditioning and approval towards increasing sexual desire.

What methods have people actually used to achieve success in reducing or overcoming sensual lust? I'm not talking about theory or just Pali suttas on the subject but the experiences of people in actually using these sources to overcome it and further to motivate oneself to do so and persist in it for extended periods of time.

I believe meditative progress particularly towards the jhanas is significantly impaired through difficulty in reducing this pervasive hindrance.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Lucid24.org: What's new?

Link to lucid24.org home page :    4👑☸   Remember, you may have to click the refresh button on your web browser navigation bar at to get updated website. 2026 1-30 Overhauled the DN, MN, SN menu pages - Supreme navigation January 30, 2026 2025 12-16 2025-12 December: Major update on look and feel of Lucid24.org 2024 9-17 Lots of new stuff in the last 2 and a half years.  Too many to list. Main one justifying new blog entry, is redesign of home page. Before, it was designed to please me, super dense with everything in one master control panel. I've redesigned it to be friendly to newbies and everyone really. Clear structure, more use of space.  At someone's request, I added a lucid24.org google site search at top of home page. 2022 4-14 Major update to lucid24.org, easy navigation of suttas, quicklink: the ramifications 4-2 new feature lucid24.org sutta quick link 3-28 A new translation of SN 38.16, and first jhāna is a lot easier than you think 🔗📝notes relat...

AN 9.36, MN 64, MN 111: How does Ajahn Brahm and Sujato's "Jhāna" work here?

What these 3 suttas have in common, AN 9.36, MN 64, MN 111, is the very interesting feature of explicitly describing doing vipassana, while one is in the jhāna and the first 3 formless attainments. LBT (late buddhist text) apologists, as well as Sujato, Brahm, claim that the suttas describe a jhāna where one enters a disembodied, frozen state, where vipassana is impossible until one emerges from that 'jhāna'.  Since Sujato translated all the suttas, let's take a look at what he translated, and how it supports his interpretation of 'jhāna'.  AN 9.36: Jhānasutta—Bhikkhu Sujato (suttacentral.net) ‘The first absorption is a basis for ending the defilements.’ ‘Paṭhamampāhaṁ,   bhikkhave,   jhānaṁ   nissāya   āsavānaṁ   khayaṁ   vadāmī’ti,   iti   kho   panetaṁ   vuttaṁ. That’s what I said, but why did I say it? Kiñcetaṁ   paṭicca   vuttaṁ? Take a mendicant who, q uite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unskill...

My thoughts on Dalai Lama kissing boy, and the solution

HHDL = His holiness, the Dalai Lama I've collected good references here, including the actual video, and snippets from forums discussions containing valid critcism and explanations of cultural context, and most importantly, what the rules of the actual vinaya that buddhist monks are supposed to follow: 1min. video: Dalai Lama kissing boy and asking him to suck his tongue At the time of this writing, HHDL is about 88 years old. He has an exemplary record devoting his life to compassionate service to all living beings,  as a Tibetan Buddhist monk. In this age of 'me too',  everyone with a cell phone with high resolution cameras, and the ability to quickly publicize any indiscretion or sexual crime, we've seen sexual predators in positions of power being exposed and convicted. Leaders of large corporations,  governments, professional sports, doctors, leaders in all religions. Tibetan Buddhism has an especially poor track record with corrupt sexual predators. https://thewal...