Big error in Ajahn Sundara book: Metta is not love. And you don't love every being in the universe as your only child.

 

Brahma-Viharas Ajahn Sundara There is a saying which expresses the relationship between wisdom and compassion: ‘Wisdom tells me I am nothing, compassion tells me I am everything, and in between my life flows.’ Wisdom teaches us about impermanence and the absence of self-hood. Compassion makes us aware that despite our impermanence and lack of a self, even though we are separate bodies, we are all interconnected and affect each other deeply. When there is awareness and inner peace, there is spaciousness within. When there is spaciousness, we have room to love other people. Skillful and compassionate actions manifest spontaneously. The love described in the Buddhist teachings is not sensual love; it is not dependent on the six senses. Loving-kindness and compassion are universal love. That is why the four Brahmavihāras (mettā, karunā, muditā, uppekkhā) are called ‘the immeasurables’. Frankk comment:  If you have to point that out, then you shouldn't be using the English word "love" to refer to metta. (mitta = friend, metta = friendliness, neighborliness care for others welfare) Because when the proper English translations for  "love" "dear", "affection", do appear in the suttas, "LOVE" IS REFERRING TO SENSUAL LOVE, attached love, passion and love with defilements and strings attached. Kāma, rāga, pema, piya, etc.   (back to Ajahn Sundara) They are universal forms of love, not restricted to anything; not dependent on whether people are big or small, fat or thin, old or young, sick or healthy, stupid or intelligent, white, black, yellow or green. This love receives and blesses everybody. This love is much more understandable once we begin to let go of the illusion of being a solid and permanent self. Our identification with ‘me’ and ‘mine’ causes a contraction that leaves us unable to love freely. In a deluded state, we become obsessed with a perception of ‘me’ which needs to be defended, looked after, appreciated and praised. As long as we are dependent on this ‘me’, we are caught up in all the complex needs of the mind; needs that arise because we feel separated, cut off and dependent on many things. The Buddha’s teachings speak of four aspects of love: mettā is loving-kindness, karunā is compassion, muditā is sympathetic joy and upekkhā is equanimity. In English the word ‘love’ covers almost all types of love, but the words ‘Brahma-vihāras’ open up new vistas of what love actually is and how it can be expanded. This perspective may not be so obvious in western languages. We may not always realize that compassion or joy in the good fortune of others are facets of love. WRONG In the scriptures mettā is represented in this way: ‘Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.’ I encourage you to contemplate the meaning of these divine abidings. They can help you more deeply understand this whole aspect of love, compassion, gladness and serenity. This reflection by Ajahn Sundara is from the book Seeds Of Dhamma, (pdf) pp. 13-15. Posted February 26, 2026. Read this and other reflections on the Abhayagiri Website.

RIGHT

Mātā yathā niyaṁ puttam	Just as a mother would protect her child,
Āyusā ekaputtamanurakkhe;	her only child, with her own life,
Evampi sabbabhūtesu,	so too [one must protect the mind of friendliness] toward all beings
Mānasaṁ bhāvaye aparimāṇaṁ.	by cultivating a boundless mind.

Just as a mother would protect her child,
her only child, with her own life,
so too [one must protect the mind of friendliness] toward all beings
by cultivating a boundless mind.