AN 10.72 and KN Ud 3.3 smoking out the gophers, you can hear sounds in the four jhānas

As a followup to my recent post:

AN 10.72 and KN Ud 3.3 smoking out the gophers, you can hear sounds in the four jhānas

I've just added to lucid24.org two DN 21 chinese agama paralles:   || MA 134, DA 14  :

upon my first reading of these suttas, they seem to agree with DN 21. You can hear sounds (both human and divine), think, evaluate/ponder in first jhāna.

How did those 80,000 devas become stream enterers hearing the Buddha give a dharma talk?

They must have had at least first jhāna quality of samādhi while listening (even though the sutta doesn't explicitly say that).

Otherwise, you'd have to conclude some beings can become stream enterers with samādhi lower than first jhāna. 

But then where are the other suttas that talk about this special loophole for people who don't have to work hard for regular first jhāna to become stream enterers and arahants?

Now how would the Vism. redefinition of jhāna work here for those 80K devas? 

One crazy Vism. conspiracy theory for Sariputta, is that he's so talented in Jhāna he can quickly go into and emerge from frozen disembodied stupor of Vism. "jhāna" many times per second, allowing him to hear sounds coherently (compared to ordinary jhāna masters who typically remain in a disembodied frozen stupor for 20min, 60min, before they can emerge). 

But what about Sakka (king of devas in heaven of 33) and these 80,000 devas? Are we to assume they all have the same talent as Sariputta, to go into and out of disembodied frozen stupor while listening to the Buddha talk and attain stream entry? 

If only 1 in a million serious practioners can attain Vism. "Jhāna",

and Sariputta is one in maybe 10,000 human jhāna masters during the Buddha's time who can quickly enter and emerge from disembodied frozen stupor vism. "jhāna",

Then Sakka and each of those 80,000 devas who attained stream entry are each one in 10 trillion odds of having the skill to attain stream entry while listening to a Dharma talk. 

Does that seem likely to you? 

Or how about we assume the Buddha was sane, 

used words in the lexicon like it was commonly accepted (body = physical body, thinking = thinking, hearing means hearing).

Then all of these suttas on hearing sound and comprehending Dharma while in jhāna doesn't have to require complicated contortions and logical absurdities that Vism. resorts to.

hearing in jhāna👂🌄  : all the suttas where hearing in various samādhis occur

🔗📝 : many articles analyzing DN 21

Direct Links about jhāna

        DN 21⁰ - (Sakka doesn’t want to disturb Buddha’s jhāna)

            DN 21^0.1 - (fire burning is also called ‘jhāna’)

            DN 21^0.2 - (Sakka convinces musician to pull Buddha out of jhāna retreat with poem)

            DN 21^2.0.1 - (Sakka visits Buddha but sees him in ‘samādhi’)

            DN 21^2.0.2 - (Lady requests vistors including Sakka to not disturb Buddha’s meditation)

            DN 21^2.0.3 - (sound of Sakka’s chariot pulls Buddha out of ‘samādhi’)

            DN 21^2.2.2 - (pīti and pamojja are the mental joy, 2nd jhāna is better than 1st jhāna)

            DN 21^2.2.4 - (could be referring to asubha here, 2nd jhāna is better than 1st jhāna)

            DN 21^2.2.6 - (upekkha of 2nd jhāna and higher is better than 1st jhāna)

Can you really see someone becoming stream enterer without at least a finger snap’s time worth of first jhāna?

            DN 21^2.5.2 - (Sakka gave musician promotion, and 80,000 devas become stream enterers)