First responder action to anger, even righteous anger: wise selfishness

 

What works best for me, to get rid of anger, no matter how justified it is,  is to just focus on wise selfishness.

That is, I want what's best for myself.

Anger damages my qi, my health, my spiritual practice, etc.

I want to be in optimum health with maximum qi to be in the strongest position to attain awakening.

So the first, immediate first responder reaction to anger I try to cultivate, is to remember (sati, "mindfulness") to be selfish (in a wise way), look out for number one, value my own well being, do no harm to myself, the person I care about most in this world, nurture that basic instinct to be good to myself and minimize any harmful effects to my own health that anger anger can cause.

Especially when there's righteous anger to a grave evil done, we have a tendency to justify to ourselves it's ok and reasonable to be angry in the situation. But in the heat of anger we forget this does great harm to ourselves.

Besides, if we've already been victimized by someone once, every time we get angry, it's like giving them a free punch or a knife to stab us again and again every time we remember the evil they did. The anger of recalling it just harms ourselves again and again. Really senseless if you think about it. Why would you let the evil perpetrator victimize you not just once, but multiple times? For days? For years? Even for lifetimes with angry ghosts seeking revenge getting pay back hundreds of years later.

 

But in the heat of anger all rationality disappears, and we're not going to be able to apply the Dharma.

So that's why I find it's easiest to cultivate the basic instinct of self preservation, remembering that anger does great harm to our self. 

So protect ourselves first, ask questions and find long term solutions later.

Afterwards, from a calm state of mind, then work on all the typical good strategies taught in the suttas to get rid of anger permanently in a Dharmic way. 

"do jhana first, ask questions later."

Another thing I try to do when working through anger and forgiveness, is remember the mantra,

"do jhana first, ask questions later."

So get in a jhana state of mind first, and then equanimously work through the thought process. If anger comes in, pause, take a time out, go back into jhana first before resuming working through of issues.

This goes hand in hand with the wise selfishness of self preservation, being kind to ourselves first and not harming ourselves.

2. byāpādo😠 / ill-will

2. byāpādo😠 / ill-will (of the 5 hindrances)